All relationships have their bumpy spots. New relationships have unique ones. Communication can get you over them, but you have to handle disagreements well. Part of this is knowing which subject are completely off-limits. Here are ten things that will have your new BF running for the exit if you say them.

1. "You're way better than any of my ex-boyfriends"

You may mean this as a compliment. But it’s is a red flag. Your new boyfriend may think that you've had a lot of failed relationships. And he may think the problem was you, not your exes. He may also think that you tend to talk about exes in the worst light. As a rule, guys hate hearing about past relationships. Stay focused on the present, instead. Say something along the lines of, "You're a very special person; I've never met anyone like you before." Something to this effect stays positive, upbeat, and anchored in the now.

2. "I feel sexually dissatisfied"

You can guide his actions in the "act" with such subtle suggestions as "Slow down," or "Keep doin' what you're doin.'" Positive feedback when he's doing those things that get you hummin' will make for greater intimacy as well as great sex. And whatever you do, only comment on his penis size if what you have to say flatters him.

3. "Do you think she is prettier than me?"

If you call his attention to other girls, you signal that you’re insecure about yourself and your relationship with him. Your looks may have set the hook, but he's into you for other reasons. At no point do you want make him think he's out of your league.

4. "I cheated once on a boyfriend"

Confess that you were unfaithful to an earlier boyfriend and watch your new relationship dry up. The reason should be plain to you: The last thing your boyfriend wants to hear is how you cheated in past committed relationships. This will make him question your fidelity to him, and he will grow mistrustful and insecure. Leave the past in the past.

5. "I don't care for your mom"

Get critical on his family members and watch him get defensive. Plus, he may begin to question your future together. Sidestep any hurt and let him vent about his “fam” on his own.

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6. "Is that within your budget?"

Monitor how he spends his money and you’ll send him into a tailspin. Most men equate self-worth in their finances. If you ask him whether he can afford something, you're implying he is a loser. You're his girlfriend, not his mother. Allow him to make his own choices in life, especially when it comes to money. If you have accounts together, and you don't like his spending habits, find a time when you can have a sit-down about a budget. And when you have that sit-down, make it diplomatic.

7. "You should be friends with this guy I met"

Say you met a cool guy who you think your boyfriend would get along with super well. You mention this dude to your boyfriend and encourage them to hang out. Your boyfriend will most likely become incredibly jealous. He may think you have an agenda, and his self-esteem will be hurt hearing you praise another guy. Instead of trying to find friends for your boyfriend, just arrange a group outing and see if your boyfriend makes friends that way.

8. "I once had crazy sex with this dude ..."

Your boyfriend most certainly doesn't want to hear about your crazy sex stories, even if you are just being playful and silly. By sharing stories of weird past sexual encounters, you'll only make your boyfriend incredibly insecure and jealous — he definitely doesn't want to think about you with another person. As a general rule of thumb, you should limit your sexual history conversations to STD testing and practicing safe sex.

9. "You're a liar"

Trust is the foundation for any lasting relationship. Call your boyfriend a liar, and you’ll damage your relationship. If you suspect your boyfriend of being dishonest, broach the topic gently. Try saying, "I find it hard to believe that you are painting the whole picture." Focus on asking him questions to determine the whole truth.

10. "You're acting like a child"

If you find yourself in an argument with your boyfriend, you should never mention things like, "you're too sensitive," "you're overreacting," or "you're getting too defensive." Such comments will make your boyfriend feel like his emotions are invalid and that you're not listening to him. In a relationship, you want to give your boyfriend the space to be able to express his emotions without being shunned. Instead, listen to your boyfriend and validate his feelings.

Silence is golden

Honestly most definitely is the right policy in most cases. Relationships — new ones, especially — stand as an exception. It's not that you should lie to a boyfriend. Rather, look at it as his being on a need-to-know basis. And certain things he just doesn't need to know.

References

  1. "5 Things You Don’t Need to Tell Him," Shape, October 2, 2014.
  2. "9 Things You Should NEVER Tell Your Boyfriend," You Queen, May 11, 2016.
  3. "9 Things You Should Never Tell Your Man," Readbook, October 30, 2001.
  4. "14 Things You Should Never Say to Your Spouse," Reader's Digest, January 17, 2017.

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