Not all red flags are deal breakers. In fact, red flags merely signal something you should investigate further before committing to -- or breaking up with -- someone. But here are eight relationship red flags that are actually a bigger deal than you think:

1. They're into kinks you're not okay with

1. They're into kinks you're not okay with

Is your partner into open relationships or threesomes, but you're not? While being sex-positive and nonjudgmental is essential, it's also crucial that you're able to recognize your own boundaries when it comes to sex. Ask yourself if you can live with your partner's kinks in the long run. You should make sure to have a conversation about boundaries and sexual preferences early on to find out if it's going to work out between the both of you.

2. Their job history is sketchy

2. Their job history is sketchy

If your partner is struggling with their career, that doesn't necessarily mean you should ditch them. But if your partner is always out of work, that signals a huge red flag. If they aren't able to keep a job longer than six months, you should examine why. If your partner blames their lack of employment on others, this could mean your relationship is doomed.

3. They tell white lies

3. They tell white lies

Have you caught your partner telling white lies on more than one occasion? This could be disconcerting. Why? Because over time the lies might get more significant and severe, ruining trust between the two of you.

4. They don't have best friends

4. They don't have best friends

If your partner doesn't have a ton of close friends, that might be a major red flag. Though you shouldn't rule out partners who don't have friends because they just moved to a new city or have social anxiety if your partner's lack of friends is due to their personality, then you might want to consider dumping them.

5. They're controlling

5. They're controlling

Does your partner pressure you to do things against your will? Do they only want you hanging out with people of the same gender? That's a huge red flag. If you notice controlling behavior early on, you should immediately break up.

6. They drink too much

6. They drink too much

Regularly drinking to excess is a bad sign. If you see that your partner is drunk on almost every date, that probably means they're not the best person to date at the moment. The same goes for drugs.

7. They complain a lot

7. They complain a lot

Does your partner complain a lot about other people? Do they always bring up their coworkers or roommates? Do you notice that your partner is negative and judgmental? This is a huge red flag -- dating a negative person is unhealthy and will bring you down. Break it off asap.

8. They never ask you questions

8. They never ask you questions

Does your partner always talk about themselves? Do you notice that they never ask you questions? If your partner only talks about themselves, then you might be dating a narcissist, and you should break up with them immediately.

Keep your eyes peeled

Sometimes spotting red flags in a relationship is harder than it seems. And some red flags that seem small or harmless are actually a big deal. Keep your eyes peeled for anything that doesn't seem quite right. And definitely reconsider your relationship if red flags do pop up.

References
  1. "9 Relationship Red Flags That are a Bigger Deal Than You Think," Business Insider, July 25, 2018.
  2. "9 Seemingly Small Relationship Red Flags That are Actually a Much Bigger Deal Than You Think," Bustle, October 9, 2018.

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