How to Keep Romance Alive After Having Kids

Jun 1, 2018 BY: LBL Team

You’ve probably noticed that, before you and your partner had children, it was easier to focus on your relationship and carve out quality time together. But with the arrival of babies, you’re just lucky to get some shuteye on a good day. Rest assured, though — you can still keep the romance alive with some planning and effort.

Planning is your best friend

With prioritizing and looking after children, it can be challenging finding time to be alone with your partner. This is where planning ahead helps out a lot. To keep the romance alive, you should schedule one or two date nights per week. Find a reliable babysitter to watch your kids for a few hours while you and your partner go out to dinner or see a movie together. Planning a regular date night will help you and your partner to connect on a deeper level, keeping that spark alive.

Sometimes finding time for sex can be difficult, too. But a healthy sex life is crucial for a successful relationship. Planning sex in advance can come in handy, too. Schedule a few nights a week for sex when you both know your children will be staying with a relative or friend, or when you’ve put the kids to bed. Then get creative and

Small gestures count

Because it’s so easy to get caught up with work and kids, sometimes you might not be able to show your partner how much they mean to you. That’s where small gestures are important. Find a few minutes in your day to show your partner that you care about them. This could be giving them a hug or cooking their favorite meal. You can even place a sticky note on the fridge that says “I love you.” Your partner will definitely value all these small gestures, and it’ll help to keep the romance alive in your relationship.

You can also demonstrate your thoughtfulness by encouraging your partner to take a break. Maybe suggest that your partner go golfing with his buddies or get a manicure with her girlfriends. Your partner will appreciate the break and that you’re encouraging them to get in some “me time.”

Other tips for keeping the romance alive

You don’t have to spend an entire week along to reconnect as a couple. Here are other simple ways to keep the romance alive that you can easily incorporate into your daily routine:

  • When pushing the stroller together, hold hands with your partner to connect in a more romantic way.
  • Take a few seconds out of your day to actually lock lips — this can be before work, for instance, or when getting ready for bed. It’ll show your partner you’re still in love with them.
  • Give your partner at least one compliment per day. It can be something simple, such as, “your cologne turns me on.”
  • Flirt! just because you’re in an LTR doesn’t mean you can’t still flirt with your partner. This is an easy way to keep the passion alive.
  • Write surprise love notes. Leave them in your partner’s lunch box to find later on.

Remember that a happy healthy relationship will make you both better parents. And keeping the romance alive is essential for a lasting relationship. But understand that any relationship requires effort and work — it all boils down to planning dates, making small gestures, and incorporating romance into your daily life.

  1. “4 Ways to Keep Your Romance Alive After Kids,” Huffington Post, April 20, 2017.
  2. “Keeping Romance Alive After Kids,” Today, February 10, 2018.
  3. “Keeping Romance Alive Once Babies Arrive,” Parents, n.d.




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