You recently met a guy you've been dating for a few months now, and both of you have decided to become boyfriend and girlfriend officially. Things seem to be humming along smoothly until one day you get into a fight about something trivial. Does this scenario sound all too familiar?
It’s probably just a misunderstanding...
Most fights as a couple stem from a simple misunderstanding. But regardless, experiencing your first fight as a couple sets the tone for the realness aspect of a relationship. Having your first fight together is a growing experience, and getting through it can give you a massive sense of accomplishment as a couple.
First fights also tell you a lot about your partner. If your boyfriend gets angry and lashes out, that could mean he has anger issues. Going through your first fight together is a good indication of whether your boyfriend is right for you, depending on how he responds to you.
Your first fight can bring both of you closer together…
While it might seem counterintuitive, experiencing your first fight as a couple gives both of you an opportunity to get closer together. How? Because when you work through issues together and solve them, you feel a sense of personal accomplishment and you get to know each other more intimately.
What's more, surviving your first fight as a couple means that you still like each other even when sometimes you don't. It signals you both have a deeper, more meaningful connection with each other.
Handling your first fight tactfully
It's essential to handle your first fight as a couple tactfully. This means:
- Don't jump to extremes. During the fight, don't jump to the worst case scenario, and don't suggest breaking up. Avoid saying things you'll regret. Remember that, in a healthy relationship, you don't always have to agree with each other.
- Don't hold grudges. When a fight is over, learn it let it go. Avoid bringing up fights you've had in the past -- it's a sign that you can't let things go, and it reflects poorly on you as a person.
- Give each other space. This will enable both of you to process your emotions, and reflect on what the fight means for your relationship and future together.
Experiencing your first fight together as a couple will give you the opportunity to set some ground rules for future arguments. This might mean you identify behaviors that are not acceptable to you, such as screaming or using curse words. You can also set parameters around the length and intensity of arguments.
It's a learning experience
The bottom line is that your first fight as a couple is a learning experience. While it might seem intimidating and scary
- "3 Reasons the First Fight is so Important to Your Relationship," Glamour, June 6, 2014.
- "A Couple's First Fight: Don't Overreact or Panic,"
- "How to Survive the First Fight in Your New Relationship," Elite Daily, April 10, 2017.