friends with benefits


It happens to the best of us -- one night, you hang out with a good guy friend of yours, and it unexpectedly turns into something more. Suddenly, you find yourself stuck in a friends with benefits situation. But, as the friends with benefits relationship continues, you discover you actually want a more meaningful relationship. Moving from a friends with benefits relationship to a more committed, serious one isn't always easy, and there are definitely risks involved. The important thing to ask yourself before putting yourself on the line is: has your guy friend shown interest in taking things to the next level? Some signs include:

  • He introduces you to his friends
  • You hang out together a lot
  • He doesn't mention his exes
  • He's told you he's not seeing other people
  • He texts you a lot

If you get a sense that your FwB dude might be into a more serious relationship, then here are 7 ways to transform your friends with benefits situation into an actual committed relationship:

Be affectionate

1. Be affectionate

If you're trying to transform your friends with benefits situation into a serious relationship, you should shower your guy dude with affection. But don't be overbearing. Show him emotional support, and always be positive. He'll soon realize that you're girlfriend material.

Do more together than just have sex

2. Do more together than just have sex

Most friends with benefits relationships are centered around sex. But if you want to take your relationship to the next level, you should spend quality time with your guy friend. Try out new restaurants, go to shows, and hike together. This will enable both of you to get to know each other more intimately, allowing a relationship to blossom.

Remain chill

3. Remain chill

Your friends with benefits dude might give you mixed signals as you try to change the dynamics between the two of you. But it's important to go with the flow. If he's resistant to hanging out with you more often and in different contexts, then give him some space. If he's interested, he'll eventually come around to you.

Introduce him to your friends

4. Introduce him to your friends

If your guy friend hasn't yet already met your friends or isn't a part of your friends' circle, you should definitely invite him to hang out with your friends. As he gets to know your friends and bonds with them, he'll feel more comfortable entering into a committed relationship with you.

Limit booty calls

5. Limit booty calls

If your guy friend is used to texting late night booty calls, try to limit those. The goal is to change how he views you so that your relationship can transform into something more. Instead, you should make plans to hang out with him. Suggest going to dinner and a movie together, and see how he responds.

Stay emotionally healthy

6. Stay emotionally healthy

It's important to stay emotionally healthy during the process of turning friends with benefits into a relationship. You shouldn't become obsessed with your guy friend, or drop all your plans whenever he asks to hang out with you last minute. Continue to live your life as if you're still single.

Let him chase you

7. Let him chase you

Men love chasing women. And a little healthy jealousy can go a long way. Instead of always pursuing him, allow your guy friend to chase you. This means not always being available when he wants to hang out with you, and continuing to date other men until he actually commits to you.

Say goodbye to FwB and hello to LTR

When trying to turn a friends with benefits situation into a long-term relationship, it's crucial that you listen to your gut instinct. And while there's always a risk that you might lose your guy friend in the process, the good news is that almost 50 percent of friends with benefits situations turn into long-term relationships. Take a chance, and go for it!

  1. "14 Women Reveal How They Turned Their "FwB" Relationship into Something More," Thought Catalog, May 15, 2016.
  2. "Can You Turn Your Friends with Benefits into Something More?," Glamour, April 7, 2015.
  3. "Can You Turn Your FWB into Something More?," Marie Claire, June 5, 2014.
  4. "Will Your FwB Turn into a Relationship? It's Possible," Glamour, February 5, 2013.

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