Yes, it’s true — romantic relationships can be complicated. While all relationships have their ups and downs, sometimes red flags might not be readily obvious. If you’re feeling more stressed out and anxious than happy in your relationship, it actually might be toxic. Here are 10 signs to watch out for:
1. HE TEXTS YOU INCONSISTENTLY
Does your boyfriend send you negative or hurtful texts? Does he fail to respond to your texts? Is his communication erratic? These are all signs that your relationship might be toxic. Why? It’s a bad sign when your boyfriend responds to texts only when he feels like it, completely disregarding your feelings. What’s more, your boyfriend should only send positive, loving messages on a consistent basis.
2. HE HOLDS YOU BACK
Do you ever feel stifled in your relationship? Does your boyfriend ever feel threatened by your hobbies and interests? One classic sign of a toxic relationship is that your boyfriend gets jealous whenever you do something with other people that doesn’t involve him. If your boyfriend is giving you ultimatums and holding back your personal growth, that’s a sure sign you’re in a toxic relationship.
3. HE TAKES HIS FRUSTRATIONS OUT ON YOU
So maybe your boyfriend had a bad day at work. While everyone deals with stress differently, it’s not okay for him to take his feelings out on you. This includes criticizing you, yelling, and smashing things. In a healthy relationship, your boyfriend should disclose to you that he had a bad day, and he might request some space to vent. He might hit the gym or hang out with a friend to cope. But if your boyfriend lashes out at you, it’s time to give the relationship a second thought.
4. HE DEMANDS SEX
It’s common in a relationship for partners to have different sexual needs that might be mismatched. Your libido might be higher than his or vice versa. But under no circumstances should your boyfriend demand sex from you if you’re not interested. Similarly, he shouldn’t withhold sex from you. It’s crucial in any relationship to find a balance when it comes to sex.
5. HE’S DISTANT AFTER FIGHTING
When it comes down to it, all couples argue from time-to-time. But what separates healthy relationships from toxic ones is how partners handle arguments. If your boyfriend becomes emotionally distant after a fight, then that’s a bad sign. In healthy relationships, each partner tries to see the other’s perspective and reach a compromise. If your boyfriend is incapable of apologizing, and instead he uses a fight against you by not talking to you or withholding sex, then it’s time to find a new guy.
6. HE THREATENS TO LEAVE YOU
Does your boyfriend constantly threaten to end things with you? Do you constantly live in fear that any small mistake you make will result in a breakup? Bottomline: this is abusive behavior. If your boyfriend is annoyed by certain behaviors of yours, he should confront you in a way that doesn’t involve threats. Otherwise, it’s time to leave him.
7. HE RIDICULES YOU
In healthy relationships, partners should only use terms of endearment with one another. Your boyfriend should never call you anything that’s unflattering or hurts your feelings. Along the same lines, he should never make you feel dumb. This is only meant to hurt you, and it’s toxic.
8. HE DISAPPEARS
Does your boyfriend disappear after a fight? Does he ignore you for days? Then out of the blue, he resurfaces, pretending everything is fine? This is a huge sign that you’re in a toxic relationship. Such behaviors are not only immature, but they make you feel deeply insecure in the relationship.
9. HE DOESN’T WANT TO MEET YOUR FAMILY
Is your boyfriend always reluctant to meet your family? This is a bad sign. A toxic boyfriend will treat meeting your family as an obligation rather than as a stepping stone in the relationship. A guy that doesn’t want to meet your family clearly sees no long-term future with you. Take this as a bad omen, and move on.
10. HE NEVER FORGIVES
During and after fights, does your boyfriend dig up the past? Does he bring up all the mistakes you’ve made? This is a surefire sign you’re in a toxic relationship. Rather than keeping score, your boyfriend should never hold anything against you or make you feel bad for things that have happened in the past.
Ditch him for good
Being in a toxic relationship is not only bad for your mental health, but it can also wreak havoc your physical health. If you find yourself incredibly miserable in your current relationship, it’s time to let things go. You deserve to be with a guy who worships the ground you walk on.
References
- “7 Warning Signs Your Relationship is Toxic,” Prevention, January 1, 2018.
- “12 Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship with Your S.O.,” Glamour, October 3, 2017.
- “Toxic Relationships,” Psychology Today, September 26, 2017.
