Feeling sexy often has little to do with sex, and has everything to do with self-confidence. When you feel good about yourself and exude confidence during sex, it can make the whole experience way better. Need help boosting your sexual confidence? Here are 9 tips to follow:
1. Stop comparing yourself to other women
This is easier said than done. Just because supermodels look amazing in underwear doesn't mean you need to hide away in your pajamas. Measuring yourself up to unattainable body images is a recipe for disaster. Instead, look at your body in a full-length mirror and take note of what you find most sexy about yourself. You'll be surprised by how much you love your body.
2. Join a gym
Research demonstrates that exercising regularly boosts your body image and self-esteem, even if you don't lose any weight. Try to hit up the gym a few times a week or enroll in a yoga class.
3. Dim the lights
Who wants to get busy with fluorescent lighting in the background? No one. Just before getting down to business with your partner, try dimming the lights to set the tone. The right lighting will make you look and feel like a sex goddess.
4. Buy some flirty lingerie
Shop around until you find a style that you feel sexy in, whether it's a thong or boy shorts. Don't be afraid to experiment with bold patterns and colors like a leopard print push-up bra.
5. Learn more about sex
The more you know about sex, the more you'll understand your preferences and responses. Watch movies and read erotica as well as other books about sex to help expand your sexual horizons. This will also make you feel more confident in your sexual abilities.
6. Share your fantasies
Don't be afraid to share your sexual fantasies with your partner. Talk about what turns you on, especially in a new relationship. You want to be able to express your authentic sexual self.
7. Set boundaries
Make a list of what you want both in and out of the bedroom. Write down these boundaries somewhere you can quickly reference them. Creating boundaries will boost your sexual confidence because it will help you identify what you really want.
8. Masturbate more often
Masturbation is the key to understanding your body and what you like sexually. You should use your imagination to help you climax. You'll be able to discover what actually turns you on and in turn, feel more sexually confident.
9. Involve your partner
Ask your partner to remind you of all the things they find attractive about you. Knowing what turns them on will help to see yourself through their eyes, increasing your sexual confidence.
Break out of your comfort zone
Feeling more confident in the bedroom requires you to break out of your comfort zone and try new things. This means experimenting with new sex positions, expressing your fantasies, and buying some lingerie. But going beyond your comfort zone also means challenging negative thoughts about your body image and setting boundaries to create more confidence both inside and outside the bedroom.
- "10 Ways to Feel Sexier in the Bedroom," Good Housekeeping, July 31, 2014.
- "4 Ways to Boost Your Sexual Confidence," Canadian Living, November 1, 2012.
- "Easy Ways to be More Sexually Confident, According to a Sexologist," Bustle, March 9, 2017.