7 Tips for Actually Pulling Off Friends with Benefits

1. PICK THE RIGHT FRIEND

Carefully think about how your friendship might change if you add sex in the mix, and how you might deal with a friends with benefits arrangement if you both become less close over time. You don’t want to risk losing a friend if your friends with benefits situation doesn’t work out. Choose a friend you’re not super close with to avoid losing a good friend in the end.

2. BE CLEAR WITH YOUR EXPECTATIONS

It’s important to be as transparent as possible when entering a friends with benefits relationship. This is especially true when you’re deciding the rules in such a relationship. Steer clear of being judgmental or making the conversation one-sided. But also remember to speak up and advocate for your needs.

3. CHECK IN WITH EACH OTHER

You should check in with each other on occasion to find out how both of you are feeling about the friends with benefits arrangement. This can help you avoid hurting each other’s feelings later on. If you discover you’re getting too attached, then you should definitely discuss your feelings.

4. REMEMBER IT’S PURELY SEXUAL

Remember that a friends with benefits partner isn’t a boyfriend. This means that sometimes pillow talk or hanging out together is off the table. In a friends with benefits relationship, you are just having fun and enjoying each other physically.

5. ALWAYS USE PROTECTION

Depending on the rules you’ve set for your friends with benefits relationship, either of you might be hooking up with other people. That’s why it’s super important to always use protection every single time you have sex.

6. PREPARE FOR HOW IT’S GOING TO END

It’s good to talk about the end before it happens. What if your friends with benefits meet someone that they want to be exclusive with? Or you decide you’re just not into it anymore? It might save a lot of heartaches acknowledging that your friends with benefits situation probably won’t last forever.

7. UNDERSTAND THAT FEELINGS MIGHT DEVELOP

Understand that you might end up developing feelings for the other person and vice versa. The key is communication — make sure you’re both open with each other about your feelings so make sure you’re on the same page.

Communication is key

When it comes to successfully pulling off a friends with benefits relationship, communication is essential. Make sure you both openly discuss how you’re feeling. You’ll also want to set some boundaries and rules to ensure everyone is comfortable. Follow these seven tips to avoid heartache and misunderstandings.

References

1. “11 Rules of Being Friends with Benefits,” Glamour, December 17, 2017.
2. “How to Pull off Friends with Benefits the Right Way,” Cosmopolitan, March 21, 2017.