When it’s ok to ghost
We’ve all been there — you go on an awesome first date with a cute charmer you met on Tinder. You thought the date went well, but then you never hear from them again. They ghosted you! And for no good reason, too.
While ghosting is usually considered to be immature and disrespectful, there are times when it’s actually okay to ghost. On the fence about ghosting? Here are ten good reasons to ghost:
1. The first date was a nightmare
This goes without saying, but if you went on a first date with someone, and you had a horrible time, it’s totally okay to ghost. Maybe they were super rude to the server or totally self-absorbed. They’re probably expecting it, especially if you conveyed that you weren’t having a good time. If they’re still persistent, don’t be afraid to block their number.
2. They’re just not that into you
If you sense that you’re more into someone than they’re into you, then that’s grounds for ghosting. In the end, you’re actually doing them a favor by ghosting, and making the situation a lot less awkward for the both of you. After all, do you really want to continue dating someone who’s only lukewarm about you?
3. They’re creepy
Are you dating someone, and something seems a bit off about them? If you get even the slightest creep vibes, you should ditch for good. No one should make you feel uncomfortable. Remember that you should always listen to your instincts when it comes to dating.
4. They’re breadcrumbing you
Ever heard of the term “breadcrumbing?” It refers to when someone can’t decide if they like you or not, so they end up putting you on the back burner. Someone who breadcrumbs never initiates hanging out, and they’ll send you random texts every once in a while to still keep you interested. In a nutshell: ghost them!
5. They blow up your phone
Are you dating someone who’s so eager to get to know you that they constantly blow up your phone with questions? This behavior is a real turn-off, and it’ll only get worse with time. Not only is this super clingy behavior, but it also shows just how insecure they are. Ghost while you still can.
6. They refer to you as their partner after the first date
If the person you literally went on one date with starts referring to you as their boyfriend or girlfriend, then you know something’s wrong. This kind of behavior is clingy and controlling. Someone who moves too fast may need to be ghosted to get the picture.
7. They catfished you
You’re waiting for your date to arrive, and when they finally do, they look nothing like their profile picture! You’ve just been catfished. Unfortunately, this is all too common in the world of Tinder. Lying is definitely grounds for ghosting.
8. There’s a ton of red flags
If you’re dating someone, and you notice a ton of red flags pop up as you get to know them better, you should run for the hills. Red flags could be anything from controlling behavior to flat out lying to a bad temper to drug abuse. Remember to always listen to your intuition — it’ll never steer you wrong.
9. They’re a jerk
You go on a few dates with someone and begin to notice that they’re kind of a jerk. Maybe they’re trash-talking their ex all the time or making misogynistic comments. Or maybe they’ve even made some offhanded remarks to you. Whatever it is, it’s not worth risking them lashing out at you over the breakup. Time to ghost.
10. They’re not taking the hint
You’ve gone on a couple of dates with someone you’re not super into. You’ve tried dropping subtle hints that you’re not really feeling it, but they refuse to take the hint. This is a prime reason to ghost. Don’t waste your time and energy trying to explain to them why you don’t think you both are a good match — it’ll go nowhere.
Vanish into thin air
Yes, it sucks to be ghosted, and you definitely shouldn’t do it in a lot of situations. But sometimes there are necessary reasons to ghost, especially if they’re a jerk, or just plain creepy. When it comes to ghosting, it’s literally as easy as just disappearing for good. Bottom line: delete their number and move on with your life.
References
- “15 Times You Need to Ghost Him,” the talko, May 2, 2017.
- “Breathless: To Ghost or Not to Ghost?,” Vogue, December 11, 2015.
- “Should You Ghost? Ask Yourself These 4 Questions First,” Elite Daily, June 15, 2017.
