Why Charming People Go Farther, Get More, and Land on Top

The irresistible advantage: how charm unlocks success in everyday life

Do you ever have a day where it feels like the whole world is a little bit in love with you? One where everyone you meet is happy to see you, vaguely flirtatious, and the compliments are handed out to you like candy? There’s no real mystery—chances are good you were just working your charm—whether you knew it or not. So how far can charm take you? Turns out a little goes a very long way. Charm opens doors, sways people to your point of view, clears up disputes and keeps things (mostly) friction-free. Charming people land the job and get the girl. They score free stuff and front-row seats. If you’re not using charm to your advantage, you’re doing it the hard way. 

For starters, never underestimate the power of that extra smile, a little well-timed banter and a playful, joking demeanor. Charmers act present and engaged in conversations while exuding a positive and sincere attitude. To amp up your charm, work on actively listening, showing genuine interest to everyone you meet, and utilizing positive body language, smiles and eye contact. Project confidence, and make people feel important by complimenting them and remembering details about their lives.

We spend a huge portion of our day interacting with strangers. Cashiers and clerks, baristas and bartenders. People who work at cafes, restaurants or say, the post office, have to deal with disgruntled and impatient people all day long. Be the exception. Start the conversation by asking how their day is going—and being genuinely interested in the answer. Throw out a joke, notice if they have a great pair of glasses or cool nail art—trust me, these small kindnesses matter to people who frequently get overlooked and they’ll be delighted. When we take the time to humanize these moments, everybody wins. 

Our day-to-day interactions might also include bosses, landlords, professors—aka the people who have a lot of control over our daily lives. Trying to pitch an idea in a meeting or make a case for a rent reduction? Need a raise or need something fixed ASAP? Charm to the rescue. Tone has a lot to do with charm—practice keeping things light and playful, and try infusing a smile into your voice. Treating a dispute or navigating a sticky situation with levity and kindness can be the reason you come out a winner in the end. 

The world can be a stressful, busy place—but magnetism can help you get through it with ease and grace. To put it more plainly, every single day is a new chance to charm the socks off strangers and acquaintances alike. You’ll find it so much easier to move through life if you lead with a winning attitude and a bewitching smile. There’s no time like the present to boost your charm meter and have the whole world eating out of your hand. 

Elle Kensington is a lifestyle writer based in NYC.