long distance relationships

 

The idea of a long distance can seem appealing to most women, especially if they're career-oriented with busy schedules. After all, who wouldn't want their weekday evenings free to focus on career stuff, while getting to hang out with their SO on the weekends or just once or twice a month? But, in fact, a common misconception about long term relationships is that they require less effort. Nothing could be further from the truth, though. Some cons of long distance relationships include:

  • Trust issues might surface. This is because you're not able to be physically around your partner a lot of the time. As a result, you might not know what they're up to when you're not there.
  • Conversations become boring. Often times, long distance relationships involve a lot of talking on the phone or via Skype to stay connected. But this can sometimes feel like a chore. You might notice that after awhile your conversations become dull.
  • Long distance relationships require a lot of work. Long distance relationships require a lot more effort than regular ones. Why? Because you have to make the effort and spend the money to travel to see the person as well as stay in contact with them on a regular basis.

It takes a special person to be able to maintain a long distance relationship. Here are eight signs you might not be meant for one:

You're a bad communicator

1. You're a bad communicator

Long distance relationships need strong communication to stay alive. This means talking on the phone, texting, and Skyping with your SO almost every day. If you're naturally bad at communicating, then a long distance relationship isn't going to work for you.

You have trust issues

2. You have trust issues

Trust is key when it comes to a successful long distance relationship. This is because you're unable to physically hang out with your SO whenever you want. If you have trust or jealousy issues, the fact that you're not able to keep tabs on your SO regularly might be hard for you to deal with.

You don't plan for the future

3. You don't plan for the future

Many couples in long distance relationships have to plan in advance when they're going to visit each other. This requires booking tickets and taking off work. But if you're the type of person who lives in the now rather than planning for the future, then this means a long distance relationship isn't likely going to work out.

You're a commitment phobe

4. You're a commitment-phobe

The goal of couples in most long distance relationships is to eventually move in together or live near each other. This requires not only making a commitment but also compromises and sacrifices. If you're a commitment-phobe, then your long distance relationship isn't going to last.

You need physical intimacy often

5. You need physical intimacy often

The downside of being in a long distance relationship is that you aren't able to be physically intimate with your SO on a frequent basis. This can be a dealbreaker if you have a high sex drive. The lack of physical intimacy might tempt you to cheat.

You're super busy

6. You're super busy

Long distance relationships require a lot of regular communication. This means blocking out chunks of time to talk with your SO. If you're super busy, then a long distance relationship probably isn't for you.

You don't have extra money

7. You don't have extra money

No one ever talks about how expensive it is to maintain a long distance relationship, especially if your SO lives in another country. The cost of travel and taking time off from work can add up. If you're low on cash, then a long distance relationship isn't meant for you.

You hate traveling

8. You hate traveling

Long distance relationships require a lot of travel, whether it's driving, taking a bus or train, or flying. If you're not a big fan of traveling, then definitely don't enter into a long distance relationship.

Already in a long distance relationship? Then here are some signs it's time to end it:

  • You fantasize about other people. If you notice your mind frequently wandering to thinking about other people, then it's a sign that you might want to end your relationship. This is especially true if you no longer notice any spark.
  • You don't discuss the future. If you notice your SO doesn't make future plans with you, this is a red flag that it's time to move on.
  • Your conversations are shorter. Notice a difference in the length and quality of your conversations? This can be a sign that your long distance relationship is slowly fizzling out.
  • You feel bored. If you flat out feel bored in your long distance relationship, then this is definitely a sign that you should end things.

Sometimes it's just better to stay local

Contrary to popular belief, long distance relationships require a lot of trust, commitment, time, and effort. Because of this, many women aren't suited for one. If you're thinking about entering into a long distance relationship, you should think again. And if you're already in one, you should look for, and respond to, red flags. Whatever you decide, be prepared to handle the many downsides of a long distance relationship.

References
  1. "12 Signs Your Long Distance Relationship Isn't Going to Work," Cosmopolitan, December 28, 2016.
  2. "6 Signs You Need to Get Out of Your Long Distance Relationship," Thought Catalog, May 11, 2017.
  3. "10 Signs It's Time to End Your Long Distance Relationship," LDR Magazine, n.d.
  4. "Long Distance Relationship: Pros and Cons," Huffington Post, June 2, 2016.

long distance relationships | relationship advice | Relationships | dating | dating advice