How to turn yourself on
Sometimes you're just not in the mood for some loving. But if your libido has been in a rut lately, don't fret. While there is no literal on and off switch, there are ways to rev up your sex drive. Interested in learning more? Here are twelve sure-fire techniques to get in the mood for sex:
1. Make feeling sexy a priority
Forget about looking sexy — sexiness is a feeling. To really get in the mood for mind-blowing sex, you have to make your sex life a priority. That means incorporating your sexuality into your everyday life. Discover what makes you feel sexy. Maybe it's wearing vibrant red lipstick or your favorite pair of stilettos. Or perhaps you feel ultra-hot and on top of the world after an intense yoga class. Whatever makes you feel totally sexy, do it more often and weave it into your daily routine.
2. Take time to relax
When you're super stressed out, sex is probably the last thing on your mind. But, to help melt away tension, engage in some self-care activities at least a few times a week. This could be running, getting a massage, going to a spa, or meditating. Whatever helps you unwind, do it more often to increase your sex drive.
3. Focus on your pleasure
While your partner's pleasure is important, too, be sure to focus on things that'll give you guaranteed orgasms. If you go into sex thinking that you won't be able to get off, then you're not going to crave it. Experiment with your partner to find ways to make sex more pleasurable for you both.
4. Get more sleep
Nothing puts a damper on your love life than lack of sleep. If you've been too tired to have sex, it's time to make sleep a priority. You should aim to get between seven and nine hours of sleep a night. Cut back on caffeine and turn off your smartphone at night to help you fall asleep faster.
5. Increase your heart rate
Regular cardio exercise releases testosterone, which increases sexual desire. It also boosts self-esteem. Choose a fun activity that you'll enjoy—we're all about Zumba, vinyasa yoga, running, barre, and swimming.
6. Chart your cycle
Sex can be more enjoyable during certain days of your cycle. Days one through fourteen of your menstrual cycle tend to be ideal for sex since women experience a surge in testosterone during this time. This makes it easier for you to get aroused and orgasm. Women also tend to experience an increased libido days 24 to 28 of their cycle.
7. Cuddle with your partner
Spending time in bed together cuddling helps your body release oxytocin, which allows you to relax, feel more connected to your partner, and feel more sexual desire.
8. Pencil sex in
With busy lives, it can be challenging finding time to get down and dirty. That's why you should schedule sex — so that it actually happens. Plus, if you know when exactly you're going to have sex, you can start preparing for it so that you feel ready to go.
9. Don't pressure yourself
With the right stimulation and a relaxed environment, almost any woman can get aroused easily. But, any pressure from yourself or your partner will kill the moment. Whatever you do, don't pressure yourself into feeling desire. Remember that it's ok to not be in the mood sometimes.
10. Sext each other
Take a moment (or two) out of your day to snap some racy pics or send some inappropriate texts to your partner. This back and forth will get both of you excited for some hot sex later on.
11. Change your diet
Did you know that you can eat your way to sexy? Certain foods can help boost your libido naturally. For instance, peanut butter contains B vitamins that increase your sex drive. Celery is another food that can aid in female attraction. If you're looking for an instant sexual pick-me-up, then snack on some celery sticks with peanut butter.
12. Love yourself unconditionally
A lot of women get stuck on their appearances, which leads them to avoid sexual encounters that make them feel vulnerable. Don't let self-consciousness get the best of you. Picture yourself from your partner's perspective — they think you're sexy AF (or else they wouldn't be having sex with you).
- "6 Easy and Fun Ways to Get in the Mood," Glamour, January 17, 2011.
- "10 Foolproof Ways to Get in the Mood," Good Housekeeping, October 5, 2012.
- "13 Tips to Get You in the Mood ASAP," Redbook, August 22, 2017.
Relationships | sex | wellness