5 Quick & Easy Tips for Increasing Positive Self Talk

The power of positive thinking

In our self-care happy world, more and more info is coming to light that the way we speak to ourselves can significantly affect our lives—from the kind of jobs we get to the quality of partner we attract to our overall happiness with life itself. Inside your head, you’re both the coach and the team. A good coach doesn’t yell or berate their players for small mistakes or oversights. If a coach did that, the team would lose every time. Instead, the coach of a winning team is one that encourages, rewards, and gives epic pep talks to pump you up and help you go out and crush it. Become the coach your inner team needs with these five quick and easy tips:

1. Listen to how you speak to yourself

Start with an overall tone evaluation by listening closely to the current voice in your head. Do you catch yourself coming down hard on yourself for really small mistakes? Do you start every new endeavor or challenge by telling yourself you’ll probably fail? Do you compare yourself to people on social media and play the role of your own personal bully? In order to change these habits, you have to stop and really hear them first—then it’s time to start rewriting the script.

2. Practice patience at key moments

Drop something? Spill something? Break something? Forget something? These are the perfect moments to practice grace with yourself. Rather than snapping at yourself, yelling “Nooo!” or saying to yourself “You always do this!”, try automatically responding by laughing it off, literally. Say something breezy to yourself that plays it off, like “Oh good! I meant to do that!” Learn not to freak out—even in your own head. This easy-going approach will lead to putting less blame on yourself, and make you a more all-around patient person in other areas of your life.

3. Tell yourself you can

Let’s say you’ve got an interview, big date, or other important opportunity on the horizon. It’s the life equivalent of the big game. Time to psych yourself up. Remind yourself of other major achievements you’ve landed. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re unstoppable. Focus on your ability, your biggest strong suits, and past wins—and don’t forget to remind yourself that you are a force of nature.

4. Compliment yourself

This one might feel strange at first. Did you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror looking super good? Say it out loud in your head (“Wow, who’s the hottie?”).

Did you kill it in that presentation today? A simple “You are awesome!” to yourself is in order. Any time you notice yourself doing something that makes you proud to be you, find a way to say “I’m the best” to yourself as kind of a verbal high five. We spend so much time noticing ways we think we’ve let ourselves down—this is a simple way to start building ourselves back up and take pride in what we’re capable of.

5. Rewire your thinking

Finally, find some simple affirmations or mantras that rewire your thinking about yourself. Try an easy statement like: “Everything always works out for me”, “I will succeed today,” “I am worthy of love”, or “I am beautiful and powerful”. Put these thoughts on repeat in your head like a song you can’t stop playing. These positive sayings will take up space where those negative thoughts used to live. Take control of your thoughts to take control of your life—like the best coach, here to lead you on to victory.

As you incorporate these strategies into your daily life, remember that progress is incremental and not linear.