How To Have Great Sex After Childbirth

Your guide to great post-pregnancy sex

The first thing on your mind after giving birth probably isn’t sex. But if this is your first child, then you’ll probably start to wonder about the logistics of sex after giving birth. It’s normal to have many questions and concerns regarding physical recovery, hormonal changes, and emotional readiness. These factors can significantly influence when and how you might feel comfortable resuming intimacy. Here’s everything you need to know about rebooting your sex life post-pregnancy.

How long should you wait?

Did you have a vaginal birth? Almost immediately after giving birth, your vagina will begin to restore itself to its pre-pregnancy glory days. Vaginas are incredibly resilient. Even if you experience a tear or two, they generally heal within a few weeks. But most doctors will tell you to wait at least six weeks after giving birth to have penetrative sex.

Many women are hesitant to resume sexual activity after giving birth, often due to concerns that their vaginas will not return to their pre-pregnancy size. However, the vagina is naturally designed to recover after childbirth. The muscles, which may initially be stretched, gradually regain their elasticity, becoming firm and taut over time.

Before attempting full-on intercourse after having a baby, you might want to warm up with milder sexual activities. Always start slow and ease into it. Try some gentle touch and massage to help you become more ready for sexual intercourse.

How will sex feel?

The first time you have sex after giving birth, it might not feel good to you. But that’s okay. Some women describe having sex for the first time after birth as similar to when they lost their virginity. That being said, over the course of weeks, sex should become more comfortable and enjoyable. Make sure to use plenty of personal lubricant to help ease any pain and discomfort.

Which sex positions should you try?

While every woman is different, experts recommend starting with these five sex positions:

Reverse cowgirl. Start on top of your partner. You’ll be able to control the depth and rhythm, plus this position stimulates your clitoris for an instant orgasm.
The flip. If you don’t like being on top, then try lying flat on your stomach. Your partner can enter you from the rear, allowing you to relax into penetration without your partner going too deep.
Spooning. This side-by-side position helps prevent your partner from going too deep or too hard.
Modified missionary. Lay in an “L” shape on your back and have your partner position himself on his side. This position enables you to access your clitoris with minimal exertion.
Cunnilingus. Lay back and have your partner perform oral sex on you. This way, you don’t have to worry about penetration if you don’t feel ready yet.

Will sex be the same?

You might discover that what feels good during sex changes after you give birth. Before having a baby, you might’ve enjoyed g-spot stimulation, but now you might prefer clitoral orgasms. It’s definitely possible to have a fantastic sex life after having kids, but it might require some creativity as you get adjusted to your post-pregnancy life.

It can be helpful to acknowledge that sex is going to be different. And communication with your partner is also essential to ensure you feel comfortable during sex. Don’t be afraid to try out different positions until you find what works best for you — and remember, take your time and go at your own pace.

Spice it up

The bottom line is that a fulfilling sex life post-pregnancy is entirely achievable. However, many medical professionals recommend waiting at least six weeks after giving birth before engaging in penetrative intercourse, as this allows your body ample time to heal. Taking things slowly and experimenting with different sex positions can help you find what feels best during this new phase. Rest assured, any changes to your vagina are typically temporary, and it will gradually return to its pre-pregnancy state over time.

References

“8 Surprising Truths About Sex After Baby,” Parent, n.d.
“The 5 Best Sex Positions for After You Have a Baby,” Women’s Health, December 7, 2017.
“When Can You Have Sex After Having a Baby,” Glamour, December 17, 2018.