Most couples say the best part of arguing is the passionate make-up sex after. Here are seven tips for hookin' up after blowin’ up

1. Treat disagreements as verbal foreplay

Most couples are sexually aroused by disagreements. In fact, anger produces adrenaline, which creates a response similar to sexual arousal. Instead of sending a small disagreement into a full-blown fight, hold back harsh words or accusations and avoid any cruelty. Just let your hormones take control.

2. Cut the tension with laughter

Even small disagreements with your partner can drain you. But humor can be healing, and laughter and forgiveness in and of themselves can be highly arousing. Cracking jokes can make both of you realize the ridiculousness of the argument you’re having. The two of you will loosen up and move to gearing up for a night of passion.

3. Keep your last word short

You may feel the need to make an angry closing statement before you can move on from fighting to sexier activity. If this is the case, make your statement brief and engage your partner with eye contact as you express your feelings. Use a suggestive tone of voice: It’ll help lighten the mood. Undress your man with your eyes; this will help to engage him more. Then begin undressing yourself — literally. You’ll love the sense of empowerment you’ll feel, and he’ll love the seduction.

4. Establish a truce with a make-up ritual

This doesn’t necessarily have to involve sex; the two of you can shower together or give each other massages. Sometimes men will give their partners a glass of wine or gift them flowers. Women might fix a bowl of ice cream, and share it with their partners as a prelude to passionately making out with them.

5. Take a breather

Most women when they’re upset need a time-out after a disagreement. Use 15 minutes or so to go for a walk, bathe, read, or take some deep breaths to re-center. A lot of women find exercise to be helpful in calming down and getting out their frustrations in a healthy way while feeling sexy at the same time. Once you’ve put yourself back together, you can initiate makeup sex by giving your partner a hug.

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6. Try virtuoso sex

Sometimes there’s some emotional distance with makeup sex because the two of you may be holding onto residual anger. However, you can use this as an opportunity to really engage in the best bed performance of your life. This will give your partner an idea of what he’ll miss out on if he makes you mad. Engage in some inventive, adventurous foreplay to really knock him out and make him appreciate you even more.

7. Inspire worship

Sometimes women view makeup sex as a chore that’s only works to please their partner. But you can turn this around by indulging sexual fantasies. Use makeup sex as an opportunity to make him your love slave.

Here’s what women say are the best things about steamy makeup sex after an argument:

  • The sense of deepened connection to a partner after having survived an argument
  • The knowledge that energy aroused by anger is being channeled in a healthy way
  • The increased attentiveness shown in the bedroom by partners who feel bad for their jerkiness
  • The sex after the fight becomes more memorable than the fight itself
  • The sense of moving on that makeup sex brings to a fight
  • The chance to act more aggressively in the bedroom without any judgments

Coming together after a tense difference

All couple’s fight. But it’s what follows a fight that matters most. If you and your partner can settle differences, your relationship can grow and strengthen.

References

  1. "Explosive Sex: The Surprising Turn-On You Can't Ignore," Redbook, June 8, 2004.
  2. "The Science Behind Make-up Sex," Shape, June 24, 2015.
  3. "The 10 Best Things About Make-Up Sex," Cosmopolitan, November 6, 2015.
  4. "Why Make-Up Sex and Breakup Sex Are So Good," Psychology Today, February 10, 2013.

make-up sex | Relationships | sex | arguments | hookups