low sex drive
women's health
BY: LBL Team

7 Things That May Be Keeping You from the “Big O”

Some women find reaching orgasm difficult. This is a common issue, but it can cause embarrassment, no matter a woman’s age. Here are seven possible barriers to peak sexual bliss.

1. Alcohol

Booze deadens sensation, making orgasm harder to achieve. It also causes vaginal dryness, and intercourse can become uncomfortable as a result. In short, while alcohol may fuel attraction, it gets in the way of a magical connection.

2. Caffeine

A notorious diuretic, caffeine draws moisture from your tissues. Small amounts of it are okay, but too much of it can keep you from sexual satisfaction. The jitters that come from too much of it takes your focus of climaxing. You might notice your thoughts racing from one topic to another, making it difficult for you to be fully in the moment. Cut back on the coffee, tea, and soda and watch your sexual pleasure soar.

3. Tirednesss

Lack of sleep throws off your hormonal levels. Arousal may become difficult, and you might not have energy enough for the actual act. Aim for eight to nine hours of sleep every night. If you get it, you’re sure to find sexual pleasure quite improved.

4. Stress

Stress can kill your sex drive. It makes being present in the moment when you have a lot going on in your life. If you’re stressed out, and trying to reach an orgasm, the best thing you can do is to try not to think about what’s going on in your life. Plus, sex releases feel-good hormones that can boost your mood, helping to alleviate stress.

5. Performance anxiety

If you’re not at ease with yourself or your partner, orgasm may be out of reach. Pressure from your partner can create additional unease, and the problem worsens. Focus on the journey to climax rather than the climax itself. And don’t get too occupied with the goal.

6. Overthinking it

If you’re in your head you’re not in the moment. Release your mind to the enjoyable sensations of sex. Invite orgasm to happen naturally and without any expectations. In short, relax and go with the flow.

7. Medications

Antidepressants, birth control pills, and other pharmaceuticals can keep you from orgasm. They dampen your sex drive and even increase vaginal dryness. Speak with your doctor about ways to reduce side effects from medications, and consider using lubricant during sex or masturbation.

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Tips for better sex

Here are some ways to improve your ability to reach orgasm.

• Masturbation

Exploring your sexuality through masturbation on a regular basis will help you determine what works and what doesn’t work for your body. Use toys and vibrators; they can help you discover what makes you tick sexually.

• Erotica

Humans are visual creatures. Exploring erotica might help you to achieve an orgasm easier. Adult films and other sexy media can help to arouse you and prepare you for climax. Watch them alone or with your partner.

• A distraction-free environment

Turn off the lights, your smartphone, TV, and anything else that keeps you from being fully engaged in the moment.

• Foreplay

Intercourse alone rarely brings women to orgasm from intercourse alone. Most require at least 30 minutes of foreplay beforehand — anything from touching to oral sex.

• Different sexual positions

For most women, missionary position just doesn’t get it done. Being on top or doggy style tends to breed more satisfying results. Try different positions to see what works best for you.

• Fantasy

Thoughts about your partner may inhibit your ability to achieve an orgasm. Think about your ultimate fantasy during masturbation and sex, and feel the inner fireworks go off. It’s okay to think about other men.

• Setting the mood

Sometimes creating a relaxing, sensuous mood can help you better achieve an orgasm. This might mean dimming the lights, lighting candles and incense, and putting on some music. Try creating the most comfortable environment for you before pleasuring yourself or having sex.

Pleasure principles

Too many women find achieving climax more elusive than a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Reportedly, a quarter of all sexually active women have never touched the pinnacle of bliss. Though sometimes physiological issues play a role, sexual satisfaction remains mostly a mental game. The right mood, along with the right techniques, can make for a sex life that never disappoints.


  1. “7 Factors Affecting Orgasm in Women,” Psychology Today, April 28, 2014.
  2. “10 Surprising Reasons You’re Not Reaching Orgasm,” Woman’s Day, April 27, 2015.
  3. “Have an Amazing Orgasm: Achieve Multiple Os,” Shape, February 14, 2015.
  4. “Why Can’t I Orgasm During Sex? 12 Little Things Ruining Your Chances of Getting Off,” Bustle, March 31, 2015.
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